Daddy's Here and She's Moving Out

May 30, 2009

Big day today!  Again for many reasons.  First thing this morning the primary PICU doctor officially signed Airica out of the PICU and she got transferred to the pediatric floor.  This meant that she was now too well to stay in the PICU.  Soon after the transfer, Daddy got there.  Today, chemotherapy would begin.

It was so exciting getting checked out of the PICU.  All the doctors and nurses of the PICU would have to stay in the PICU.  They would miss Airica so much, but they were all very happy that she was headed out.  The doctors and nurses on the pediatric floor were very excited to be getting Airica.  Her amazing strength, courage, and huge lovable personality had given her a reputation they had all heard of.  

Then Daddy got back.  He had been there before but it was while Airica was sleeping so she didn't remember.  As soon as she was awake I had told her he had been  there and that he would be back soon.  She was so anxious for that moment to come...and it was here.  They just looked at each other for the longest time.  Smiling the most beautiful smiles of love.  The love was so luminous that all of us in the room could see it and feel it.  

Now came in the nurse who would administer the first round of chemotherapy.  It was pretty scary.  It didn't look scary, it looked like any of the other meds that Airica had been given through her IV.  It was scary because we knew what it was.  The nurse had to wear gloves and make sure that the very strong drug did not touch her skin.  I asked why.  She said because it was poison.  Poison that would kill all Airica's cells, bad ones, and good ones.  Then hopefully the bad ones would die and the good ones would come back good, healthy and strong.  Yeah, like I said, scary.

It was a long big day.  By the evening we were all exhausted.  Airica seemed to be doing well so far with the chemo drugs, and was pretty tired.  She asked me to sleep with her in her bed all night every night and hold her.  I agreed.  I was scared because she was so fragile and she had so many IV's and tubes.  In her raspy little voice, she told me she was okay and wanted me to hold her. I kissed her face, gave her a squeeze, and told her how proud I was of her.  It's quiet for a few moments.  Then I hear her call me, "Mommy".  I said, "Yes baby, Mommy is right here."  Then she lifts her arm to show me that once again she removed her feeding tube.