Love is Blind

May 31, 2009

Airica was so happy to have all the tubes off of her face.  The doctors would determine on Monday whether or not they will have to put the feeding tube back in or let her start to try eating pureed food.  She was hoping for food.  Another thing she was begging for was a shower.  Again, she would have to wait for Monday to see a physical therapist who would determine how much physical activity she could do.  So, we had to wait.

Waiting wasn't too bad.  We had a lot of fun.  Airica was watching her Disney Channel, playing with her sister, napping, and being silly and funny all day long.  When evening came around we were all pretty tired from all of the playing and silliness.  Christopher and I would stay with her at the hospital, and her other Daddy would take Alyssa home so she could get ready for her last week of 5th grade.  We all wanted to stay and play, but we had to part.

As we all got ready to say our goodnights, Airica seemed as if she was trying to pull out another tube, but there was nothing there.  She looked kind of silly, like when people run into a spider web and are trying to get it off of themselves.  I laughed and asked her what she was doing.  She told me that she was trying to see out of her right eye and thought that it was covered with tape.

It wasn't covered in tape, Airica couldn't see out of her right eye.  We had to call the doctors and let them know right away.  Airica just said, "Aww man.  Why are you telling on me?  They are gonna make me go do stuff now."  Sure enough, they made her go do stuff.

They called in an on call eye doctor and sent her down for an emergency MRI.  They needed to figure out why she couldn't see, and if it was reversible or not.  After the running around, tests, and staying up too late they came to their conclusion.  The artery in her neck that they used to connect her to the heart bypass machine, was they artery that supplied blood to the optic nerve.  Once severed it was permanent,

We all headed back to the room.  We were all so grateful that Airica was here and alive, but this was still hard to accept. Although I was feeling that this was just another disappointing reality to add to the list, I had to pull myself together and be there for Airica.  

When we got to the room and got settled, Daddy and Alyssa headed home.  I got myself and Airica all ready for bed, as Christopher made up the chair for himself.  I kissed my beautiful girl on the forehead and looked her in the eyes.  I told her that I could see inside of her beautiful little soul through her beautiful big brown eyes, and that I would give her one of my eyes if that would make her be able to see with both eyes again.  She replied, "I love you Mommy, but I don't want anymore procedures.  Let's go night night so you can hold me."  So, that's what we did.