My Life 3 Years ago Today

April 22, 2009 

Today three years ago was a Monday.  Airica was sick and feeling really yucky.  After a doctors appointment, she was sent to UC Davis for some routine tests.  She had been diagnosed with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis a few years before so the symptoms seemed like a relapse, as she had been in remission for a year and a half.  They admitted her overnight just to be safe and planned on getting the tests done and releasing her in the morning when they could schedule her an appointment with a pediatric rheumatologist.  

This picture was taken as we waited for them to find her a room.  As you can see, even as she is in the hospital and feeling so bad, she ALWAYS had that beautiful smile on her face.

Soon will be the three year anniversary of losing our beautiful girl.  We don't have much experience with this as it is only our third time around this "time of year".  So, to explain, as this "time of year" comes around all kinds of feelings and emotions come up and it seems no matter how "well" we are doing "this time of year" pulls that out from under us.  Where we land...right back here April 22, 2009.  When it is a joyous anniversary or time of year such as a holiday the same thing happens.  We get tons of feelings and emotions and become reminiscent of those times past.  The difference is one is joyous, and one is heart wrenching.

In the spirit of love, happiness, Airica, and my desire to share all of those things with everyone I am going to share this "time of year" here on this blog.  CALM DOWN!!!  I know I am good for some criers, and I am not going to guarantee that some posts won't make you cry.  However I am going to take the "Airica Approach" to this anniversary.  Which is finding the good in anything and everything no matter how hard that may be, and always no matter what finding a reason to smile.

Raising a teenager is hard!  Some of you know that...some of you will soon, and some of you will someday ;)  Teenagers speak a very different language than the rest of the world and unfortunately some time the translation, (especially when talking to parents) well, it doesn't translate.  The accent of this language is many times viewed as attitude (and not the good kind).  Sometimes the teenager will get the correct translation, and the correct accent and approach you at the most inopportune time.  Looking at it in this way you kind of feel sorry for them.  With all this being said communication is so important with your child and even more so for teens!

I really didn't know how to break the language barrier.  Airica came up with this wonderful idea!  We would write letters to each other.  We would sit down, think about what we wanted to say, how we wanted to say it, and have the time to erase if we are angry and calm down.  It would give us a chance to read and really absorb what the other person was saying and really appreciate it.  It even turned out to be the best translation device.  It was a brilliant idea!

I took the letter idea and turned it into a journal.  We would pass it back and forth sharing, writing, reading, understanding, and getting to know each other.  I am going to share the journal entries with you all.  I hope you enjoy getting to know Airica and our relationship.  Her love an innocence are beautiful and refreshing.  I am so grateful for these few pages that we shared.  The journal ends our conversations and begins my Journal of her stay in the hospital and that begins on April 30.