Routine Tests

April 23, 2009

The above picture is of Airica on the inside.  You can see two shaded areas in the center of her spine. The top one is a tumor, the big one on the bottom is her heart.

The above picture is of Airica's heart that you can see on the outside.

Our second day at the hospital started out as our last day.  The day started and so did the tests.  We met lots people on this day (little did we know that many of these people would become very close and dear to our hearts) doctors, nurses, a social worker.  Everyone was so nice.  Everyones goal was to get us out and on our way.  The last and final test was the x-ray.  Other than that every thing else was normal (normal as far as a child with rheumatoid arthritis).  Airica and I were down in the x-ray room laughing and giggling and ready to get the heck out of there.  She got the x-rays taken and we were on our way up back to the room.

The x-ray room was on the first floor, her room was on the 5th.  We made our way up and around through the maze of ramps, elevators and hallways back to the 5th floor.  As we arrived, the mood had very much changed.  The x-rays beat us up there (via computer).  They had me take Airica into her room and come out and talk to the doctor about the x-rays.

They pretty much told me what I wrote under the above picture.  They wouldn't be able to tell me anymore until some more tests were run.  They would now schedule a biopsy.  We knew we would be there for a awhile.  

As a mother I was terrified.  Of course we always think of the worst.  I couldn't show that though.  I had to be strong and have hope for my girl.  She never liked doctors or hospitals but this one, it was really nice, it's a Children's Hospital.  Everyone is specially trained to take extra loving care of children.

As we settled in we talked about things we may have to soon face.  We tried to do this optimistically, with hope, and remember that we had to make it understandable but not scary for Airica. She said, "Mommy, just tell me what's going on.  It's about me and I am a big girl I can handle it." so matter of factly that I could already see and feel that she had an amazing strength within her.

We talked we cried, we loved, and we made promises.  Mine was to stay by her side, be honest with her, and to make sure every night that she stayed in the hospital I would too.  Hers was to fight this "monster" with all she had.  

Below are the next two journal entries.  They are not in order with blog/anniversary dates because we just journaled when we felt like it with no pressure.  The dates will match up April 30.  Thank you for following, thank you  for allowing me to share, thank you for helping me heal.