Abruptly Awakened Last Night

May 5, 2009

(Does this look like a child who wants to stay still?)

Airica is doing a little better each day.  We are so hopeful.  Our days of fear and constant anxiety are...well, they are not gone but headed in that direction.  We all had a really good day today.  Airica still lay there so still, I mean SO still.  Her chest not even rising because she was not breathing; remember the machine is oxygenating her blood.  But the daily chest x-rays are showing improvement, and the machine that is tracking her brain waves shows her brain is responding to stimuli.  

Christopher and I were sleeping last night in the tiny room where we had created some makeshift chair beds, when we were awakened by a loud knock on the door.  We jumped up as our hearts fell.  This had happened before, and was usually followed by terrible news.  We open the door and I am sure we looked like we felt.  We see one of our night nurses Christine and she was smiling so much she appeared to be jumping!  She assured us that nothing was wrong but that Airica, although she was drugged up, was responding to voices and that we should come quick because they have to give her another dose of meds soon.

We literally ran to her room, suited up, and headed inside.  I was so nervous and I didn't know what to expect.  They couldn't let her wake up too much because she may have moved some important attachment she wasn't aware was there.  I told her Mommy is here.  I love you.  The usual.  The nurse then asked her to move her hand and she did.  It was AMAZING!  They also told me that it might just be her brain reacting to the command.  Then I asked her to move her arm.  She did that.  Then Christopher asked her to wiggle her toes.  She did that too.  This was the best night ever!  We were so excited.  We only had a few moments then they had to settle her down.  It didn't seem like much but to her sick body they said it was a lot, and to our hearts, and for our hope it was!

We had to say our goodnights and head back to our little room for some more sleep.  As I went around the bed to kiss her on the right corner of her forehead (we called it the kissing spot because it was free from any cords or tape) and tell her how much I loved her she opened her eyes.  Did she see me?  Did she hear me?  Could she feel me?  I told her like I always did that I loved her and I knew that she loved me too.  Then I said, "Airica, I know you love Mommy.  If you want to tell me yourself blink those pretty brown eyes three times for I LOVE YOU."  Guess what?  She did it!

Love, strength, hope, prayer, and faith...believe in it, I do!