30%? Really?

(Airica <3 Nightmare Before Christmas)

So, last night?  I thought that other night was rough!  They had Airica on a breathing tube so her lungs could rest.  The doctors advised Christopher and I to go home and shower, maybe sleep because she was out and they weren't going to do anything with her until the morning.  I couldn't leave I made a promise.  Christopher went home to take care of Alyssa and shower, and try to sleep.  I camped out on the chair talking to Airica and playing her favorite lullabies from when she was small, and telling her that I loved her.

They were monitoring her breathing, her heart rate, and lots of other things on a monitor she was hooked up to.  The nurses were checking on her periodically, checking her monitor and making sure she seemed comfortable.  As I began to doze off I was startled awake by some loud beeps.  As, I made it to my feet the room filled with nurses.  Airica's lungs were failing and she could no longer  breathe.  The RT came in to the room and began to try to clear her lungs as doctors were being paged and more alerts were sounding.  A code was called and they started to walk me out of the room.  I turned to the RT Emily who was working so hard to help Airica breathing and I begged her, "Please don't let my baby die!"

I was then standing outside, the PICU room turned ER.  I watched as doctors ran in and out frantically.  I tried desperately to get ahold of Christopher so he could get to hospital because I was so terrified.  I felt my body start to shake and felt a shivering cold take over my entire body.  I stood there in the corner helpless.  Praying that everything would be ok.  Praying that Christopher would get there to me faster.  

I really lost all sense of time that night. Christopher got there and was there by my side.   I did not sleep.  Doctors worked on Airica non-stop all night.  Periodically coming to me asking me to sign a form to allow this or that.  Finally, they came and told me they had to put her heart on bypass because her lungs no longer worked.  The machine would remove her blood, oxygenate it, then return it to her body.  OH MY GOD!  I told them do it.  The thing was, this was her last hope.  They said we have to attach her at two main arteries.  There were three they could use, and one was taken up by a central line for medicine.  Good right?  Not really, that meant that they had to be able to use the only two left for sure.  That was like getting a vein on the first time for a blood draw.  The doctor literally told me if it doesn't work, we lost the battle.  

They continued to work, and we continued to wait.  My dad , and Airica's other dad were in route.  It seemed like the longest night of my entire life.  My child's life in the balance.  I had to put all my faith in the doctors that were working so hard to save her.  One was the doctor that did her biopsy, and most of the others had been infected with her smiles since she had been there.  I cannot even express the blood, sweat, and tears that these amazing doctors put in that night.  I could never have said they didn't give it their all.  It was as if she was their child.

Then two of them approached me.  As they walked up to me my heart fell far down into my stomach.  They removed their masks, I could see the exhaustion in their faces.  They told me, the procedure was a success and she is in stable but critical condition.  I cried and hugged them both so tightly at once.  Then they told me that she had a 30% chance of making it another night.  Her lungs no longer worked, she was on heart bypass, and they had no idea why this had happened.

We took that 30% because she made it.  She was so strong.  They had her on what they call "shot gun" meds.  Meaning since they don't know what it is they treat everything.  Wow!  I finally go to go in and see her.  The same room was now so different.  I walked in and saw her there.  So many lines, cords, IV's, it was scary.  I kissed her on her forehead told her I loved her and that I was there and I heard a beep.  It was the brain wave detection machine.  She heard me, she felt me, she knew I was there loving her.  They said 30%?  Really?  Airica was going to prove them wrong.

(How I translated that for Airica)

Some pictures of how the room changed, the machines, and the many IV's that were keeping my girl going.