This is how I see you

May 9, 2009

Today was a calm, restful day.  Last night was uneventful, which was great!  Today Airica continues to rest (and wiggle).  Like I said before, we can't stay in the room with her, we have to suit up and stay for a while then come back later.  So all night and all day on the hour this is the ritual.  Or for any other excuse in between that I think of.  Like asking the nurse a question I forgot to, or putting a pink flower clip in her hair, or one more kiss.

For any of you that have children, I am sure you know what I mean when I say "This is how I see you" in reference to the above picture.  This is what I see laying in that hospital bed.  My baby.  My sweet, innocent, perfect baby.  Her hands curl up in the exact same way as she sleeps, even though she is almost 14 years old...this is what I see...this is what I feel.

As our babies grow into toddlers, preschoolers, school agers, and teenagers, we still remember those precious moments when they were infants.  I think some of the reason is that we are in awe of the changes that we have witnessed. The growth in their bodies, their minds, and their personalities.  The pride we feel as they learn and succeed in their small and big accomplishments.  With nothing but the feeling of joy as we are given this gift of parent, teacher, nurturer, and ultimately the recipient of their unconditional love.

Being a parent to me is a journey on two of the four main paths of yoga.  Karma yoga and Bhakti yoga.  Karma yoga is finding a connection with the divine through selfless service to others (our children), with no expectation of personal gain or outcome.  Bhakti yoga is love and devotion with no selfish expectation and no fear.  Not only living those paths, but teaching them, sharing them.

Being a parent has been the greatest gift that I have been blessed with in this life.  Being a parent to Airica and Alyssa has been the most wonderful experience that I could have ever imagined.  Knowing that I could be a part of such beauty is amazing to me.  Thinking about the unique individuals they grew into reminds me that they grew...from tiny fragile infants, so sweet, so innocent, so perfect.